The Time Travelers Daughter

     I was never supposed to exist. How would that make you feel if your father told you that? Where would you go from there? I`m sure he meant well and I know he didn`t actually want to tell me that but still. I`m 29 years old, I have a Phd in nanotechnology and I’m in the process of revolutionizing miniaturization. I`m one of the smartest people I know and he can still make me feel stupid. 

     It all started with the accident. Why did he have to go to the city that day? If that experimental fusion reactor hadn`t exploded none of this would have happened. He wouldn`t have been bombarded with radiation and he wouldn`t have had his body chemistry change. That was okay I guess if he was still the same absent minded professor he always had been. I loved him for that. But then he went away on sabbatical  to fix what happened and the man who came back wasn`t him. It was a different person. One who treated me like a stranger. I couldn`t put my finger on what it was at first but I knew something was wrong. I thought that he might be experiencing early onset dementia. How I wish it that simple. When I finally confronted him about it he told me that when he had left before he hadn`t had a daughter and I was a time aberration, something that shouldn`t even be here. Apparently he wasn’t on sabbatical but traveling through time trying to fix things. He’s a hero, I guess. He told me that he loved me as if that would fix everything.

     I was devastated to say the least. I hated him in that moment. Where was my loving father who, while he did miss some of my events, always tried to show up to as many as he could. Where was the loving man who treated his wife with the same affection as when they were dating. 

     Mom always wondered what changed him. Before they had there fifth anniversary he was always distant and distracted. However in Washington for a summit there was a terrorist attack and she had been hurt. Him as well. After that she said he was different. Better, more loving. She thought that it was just a reaction to almost dying. Talking with the old man now I realize why. He had time traveled to meet himself and changed his past. 

     Creating me by accident. Apparently he was actually lecturing himself to take better care of his wife and I was an unexpected result. What does that say about me? Where does that leave me?

     I’ve forgiven him for not telling me this before he went back on his  journey because well it was a different man, but that by no means resolves the issue. My big issue now is what does this say about me? If I  wasn’t supposed to exist does that mean I am outside destiny? Is what I decide to do uncontrolled by fate? I never truly believed in either of them but because this is now my life I can’t stop thinking about them. I’m not ashamed to say that it is exciting. My every decision will change the future in unrecognizable ways. I can’t say I’m not excited. Will I be the aberration? If only this was a fantasy. There would be a demon king to defeat and that would at least give me a direction. However I do wish I’d never heard of the Fates.

What happens now ?