A Hero`s story?

A Hero`s Story.

            It was a long journey to reach this point. From his party of five, known throughout the world as the Heroic Quint the last living 2 were finally at the gate of the evil overlord. Many comrades had been lost to help them get to this point. The Hero took a moment to remember the faces of those who had brought him this far.

            First he brought up the face of his best friend who`s sunny personality and powerful sword had helped him drive away the demons.

            Next he thought of his mentor. She had taught him how to use the sword well and the secrets of sword magic. Her beauty and grace will never be forgotten.

            Then he thought of the thief. His horribly pink, disfigured appearance still hid the heart of a champion.

            Finally he looked at the Mage. Her beautiful whiskers and lovely ears made her fur stand out. Of all the felines in the kingdom save the virgin princess she was the most beautiful.

            “Are you ready Hero? We have to do this.” she said, laying a hand on his arm.

            “I`m ready! Let us take this bastard down.”

            He kicked open the door only to be met with a ball of blue fire. It hit the Mage directly in the chest burning her to ash instantly.

            “Dam! I missed. Why the hell did you have to move?” shouted the evil overlord. Dressed all in black his dark evil green eyes shone brightly from his black fur.

            “Bastard I will kill you for this!” the hero raised his sword and charged the Overlord ready to give battle. The overlord raised his hands and let off a barrage of spells to destroy the Hero. However the hero`s magic sword was able to repel them with ease. The Overlord had no choice but to draw his own sword and face the hero in the final battle.

            “Join me Hero. Together we can have it all. Wealth, power, everything that you would desire could be yours.”

            “The only thing I desire is the Princess and an end to your reign of destruction. I shall never join you!”

            The fighting continued across the room destroying everything in its path. Neither side could gain the upper hand in this fierce life or death struggle. The Hero raised his claws to slash at the Overlord but ripped off his robe revealing powerful armor underneath.

            “My armor! It was you who stole it from my mother causing her death. You bastard.” and redoubled his attack.

            The fight continued down the hall until it stopped just outside the princess’s room. The Overlord was on his back, sword broken and armor in tatters. The hero stood over him and raised his sword ready to plunge it down into his hated foes neck.

            “Mercy! Please I beg you!”

            “Mercy? How dare you ask for such a thing when all you`ve ever given is pain and death. I will see you dead!” He raised his sword a little more when a loud groan of pleasure filled the hall.

            “What was that?” The Hero looked around then at the Overlord and raised his eyebrow.

            “Wasn`t me” the Overlord said.

            “Yes! Yes! Oh YES!” screams came from behind the door.

            The hero reached over and opened the door letting it swing wide. Inside the room there was the very last thing he would have ever expected.

            “What are you DOING?” He yelled at the Princess.

            “What`s it look like? I`m riding the Thief. Now if you would be so kind and close the door. We`re not done here yet and it`s not nice to watch if you`re not invited.”

            The Hero took one look at the naked, glistening, former virgin Princess sitting atop the disfigured, pink Thief and absent-mindedly rammed his sword into the Overlord`s chest. Then he let the door close in shock.

           The Princess got off of the Thief and wrapped her dress around herself.

“He`s not the smartest thing around but you realize he`s probably going to kill you don`t you?” she said to the Thief as he got dressed.

            “Yeah I know. It was worth it. All three times.”

            “Four for me.” She blushed.

            “Are you going to be okay?” searching around for his shirt under the bed his voice was slightly muffled.

            “I`ll be fine. Once Hero calms down I`ll be able to lead him where I want to go. But you`d better get out of here.”

            The Thief gave her a quick kiss as he dove out the window just as the door caved in from the repeated blows of the Hero. Sliding down the rope attached to the window the Thief reached the bottom easily. He looked up and could see the spittle dropping from the Hero`s mouth. “I don`t want to meet him any time soon.”

            Quickly the Thief made his way into the inner chamber where the Overlord kept his treasure. “Where is it? Where did he put it?”

            “Are you looking for this?” Said a soft voice from behind him.

            “You?! I thought you were dead.” Said the Thief as he turned around to see a beautiful woman with long silky black hair holding a bag. “Don`t tell me you`ve found the jewel of Zebeth. I`ve spent the last two years on this quest to get this close. Come on have a heart.”

            “Sorry I stole it fair and square. If you want it you must come and get it.” She waved the bag in the air and threatening to drop it.

            “That`s okay. I trust you won`t drop something with the power to wipe out everything within a 1000 mile radius that easily. But tell me who were you?”

            “Remember the sword mentor? That was me.”

            “Really? I didn`t recognize you. That was some great make-up.”

            “Make-up? I actually had my face altered to look like that. It was something I picked up in the 35^th century.”

            “I`ll have to go check it out someday. Meanwhile let`s get out of here before that crazed Hero comes back.”

            “What did you do to piss him off so badly?” she said while putting away the bag containing the jewel.

           “Slept with the princess while he was killing the Overlord. I was bored. The spells that guy put around this place wouldn`t leave until he had died so I decided to kill some time.”

            “Then it`s a good thing I was here. That skank set up a trap that when he died the spell holding the jewel in air would shut off destroying everybody around the area. Sort of an insurance policy if you will.”

            “I bow to your skill and humbly ask that you forgive me my loins.”

            Just then the Hero burst into the room as they were leaving. His eyes were ablaze and he had his hands out with his claws extended as far as they could go. “I`ll kill you!!!”

            Jumping at the Thief, ready to open his stomach the Thief sidestepped the Hero and helped himself to the bag around the woman`s waist. “Thank you but I must be going. Have fun with your former student. He still needs some training.” Saying that the Thief ran out the door.

            “Liar!!! Is that true? Are you my Master? Why are you pink? You smell the same? What`s going on here?” The Hero screamed in anguish as he prepared to confront his former mentor.

            “You son of a bitch!! When I get my hands on you you`re going to wish I let the Hero get you.” She screamed as the Thief closed and barred the door.

            “Time to go. I have everything I came here for.” And he slowly walked out the door to the sounds of fighting happening in the throne room.

            -What about her?- said the Voice.

            “Her? Do you mean the princess or the sexy one?”

            -The sexy one of course. Weren`t you supposed to bring her in if you found her?-

            “Give me a break. I`m a freelance agent. So what if I have a contract with a huge bonus for her capture. The Vixen`s just too much fun. I can`t wait to see what she`ll try next. Anyway open the door. I`m ready to come home.”

            A slivery slash appeared in the air and cut through the rock at the base. It quickly spread upward into a door of light which the Thief stepped through and then it disappeared.

            When the bards and gleemen spoke of this day they always told how the Hero rescued the princess and saved the kingdom from certain destruction. There was never any mention of a Thief except as the member of the Quint who had betrayed them all for his own personal gain. A traitor, the Hero spent the rest of his days hunting him down when not ruling a kingdom. However his wife, the former virgin princess, did very well in that regard.

The End.